SummerAir .

[ LOADING 97 % ... )

Oo Laa Laa :)
It`s Summer Already . iRemember It Like Yesturday January 1st, 2008 . The Day iMet My Prince Charminq . He Told Me iHad Pretty Brown Eyes & iM His Fiona . He Loved Me More Than Anythinq In This World . Even Two Years Later His Love Is Still Stronq . We Have Our Moments Where We Will Arque Like Two Old Married People But He Brinqs Great Joy & Bliss To My Life . iM Greatful For His Presence Because He Knows What iWant Withut Askinq & Knows Me More Than Any Other . There Has Been Many Boys In My Life That Did Me Wronq Or Even iDid Them Wronq But Nobody Comes Before My Prince Charminq :) . His Abundant Love Makes Me Wonder ; Is It Ever Too Much ?


_ Jestine Jonel . Charminq & Fiona Est O8 .

Brand New :D

Well Its Been A While Since I`ve Been On My Bloq .
So Many Thinqs Has Happened Since The Last Entry But I Never Gave Up On Life . iKeep On And Try To Motivate Myself With The Help Of God . Many Try To Put Me Down And Tell Me That iWont Get Anywhere Because Of My Family`s Past [ My Dad & Sister ) Droppinq Out Of Hiqh School And Now Tryinq To Catch Up With Their Mistakes They Made In Their Teenaqe Years But Believe It Or Not iHave More Ambition Than That . iChoose Not To GFollow My Own Fathers Footsteps . iWish To Be Better [ Experior ) iChoose To Succeed , iChoose To Be The First . iMiqht Not Be The Child Everybody Expects Me To Be On The Chess Team With A`s On Every Thinq iDo But iTry And iNotice My Falses . iM Very Moral But All People See Is A Smile . I Know What iM Capable Of Even Thouqh I Dont Work To My Ability But iL Prove Them Wronq . Friends / Family --> NOBODY Can Tell Me Who To Be Because At The End Of The Day iM Me . Jestine ; The Elevated , Dedicated , Blissful Fresh Of Air :) Unlike The Rest Even Thouqh I Do Sin .


_Jestine x Jonel :)

CruelBREAK ;

iCan Still Feel You Touchinq Me And
Grabbinq My Hand Pullinq Me Back
When A Car Rushes My Way .
iCan Still See You After iL
Open My Eyes After Each Kiss .
iCan Still Hear You Sinqinq The Player`s Prayer , Promisinq Never To Hurt Me .
iCan Still Imaqine Beinq In Your Arms When shivered On That Rainy Day .
iCan Still See You Chasinq Me In Central Park Then Eventually Catchinq Me With A Two Biq Lauqhs And Endless Smiles .
iCan Taste My First Apple Pie From McDonalds Yhu Had Me Hooked On .
iRemember Feedinq Each Other As We Enjoyed Whatever It Was .
iRemember Listeninq To The Heavy Metal Rock You Loved .
iRemember Seinq Your Body ; Feelinq It Aqainst Mines .
iCan Rmember Yhu Fallinq Asleep After 11 Hr Convos .
iRemember Lookinq Up Into Your Eyes And Feelinq My Head Aqainst Yhur Heart Hopinq iL Never Leave .
Sometimes iReally Ask Myself Why ?
iM Tearinq Into Peices Each And Everyday Because iKnow I Wont Ever Get You Back .
iDont Want Anybody Else But You ; But I Guess My Heart Will Never Be Safe W| Nobody .Everytime iPut My Trust In Someone And Confide In Them My Heart Gets Returned In Peices .


- VenusiianJonel

Mistaken Love .

I Think About It Everyday .
Was It Lust Or Love . But iKnow For A Fact I Was In Love Wit Him .
Seems Leik iLoved Him More Than iLoved Myself Because After Everythinq iContinued To Blame Myself . In A Relationship Everybody Takes Fault But iAlways Took Fault Even For His Actions . iReached The Point In My Life Where iRealized Love Is Too OverBearinq . My Self Esteem Is Too Low To Manaqe Such A Stronq Word . Every Girl Wants A Prince Charminq But iM Not Lookinq For Mr. Perfect More Leik Mister Greatness .I Need Someone To Make Me Lauqh Til iCry ; Tickle Me ; Huq Me ; Kiss Me ; Love Me ; And Treat Me Leik A Human Beinq . Everybody Is Entitled To Expressinq Their Emotions But iM Tired Of Cryinq . iM Tired Of Actinq Leik Someonee iM Not . iM Tired Of Beinq Shut Down . iWanna Turn The Paqe But The Weiqht On The Last Entry Is Too Much For Me To Handle On My Own . Can Anybody Help Me ?

- VenusiianJonel`e

"Love We Say Is Life but Love Without Hope And Faith is Antaqonizinq Death" .

Love is like a chapter book filled with drastic and blissful events . We wait all our lifes for the perfect one but when we find them , we find one little thing to beat them up about . Every perfection has flaws because it only survive til a certain point . Love isn't life , it's happiness or if you abuse it , it can be DEADLY .
Love depends on hope because you have to somehow believe that it will last , maybe not forever . Love Is Faith because in order to love you have to put away lustful desires for another and have continuous faith for the person . Love stories dont always end with a happy ever after , so close the book & START ALL OVER !

Definition Poem :)

Envy :
When People See Me havinq A Full Conversation And Then Callinq Me Uqly Riqht After I Turn My Back . Lookinq At Me Wronq Because I Got Your Man . Tryinq To Cockblock While I`m Havinq A Convo With Someone You Wanna Converse With -_-

Heaven :
In Your Arms Holdinq Me Tiqht . Floatinq On Clouds And Never Loosinq Balance . Lovinq You Forever And Havinq Everlastinq Bliss ! :)

"Love Is A Friendship Set on Fire"

What Is Love ?
Love Is A Relationship ; What Is A Relationship ? A Relationship Can Be Branched Out Into Different Cateqories Such As Friendship Or Soulmates . It Would Be Weird If It Was A Brotherly & Sisterly Love . Hmmm ? Well Love Isn't Made To Be Perfected No Matter How Hard Someone Tries . It's Not Made To Fail But Made To Fall .

"Those Who Take A Break Have no Knowledqe in The End" - Bocina

Down The Path , We Go Throuqh Bumpy Roads That May Throw Us Off A Couple Times . Is It Our Destiny To Get Back On Track ? What Ever You Do You Do In Your Life It's Your Choice . To Go Throuqh Somethinq For A Lonq Period of Time Is Both A Risk And Commitment . To Give up Or End It Is A Fiasco .

Love Is A Understandable Fall Because There Is No Such Thing As A Healthy Relationship . Thosr Who Gives Up On The On The First Trial Has No Knowledge In The End Because They Didnt Fully Learn Anything . It Takes Time For An Individual To Cultivate In A Relationship . But If You Don't Try It Only Takes A Winner To Try And A Looser To Give Up .

HEART BROKEN :_

Lookinq Down The Pathh iSaw My Weakness , Love But iTook The Chance .
Alonq The Adventure There Were Alot Of Speed Bumps And Stop Siqns But Riqht After The Intimition , iContinued . iHad The Thouqht In My Mind That It Will Last Forever More But Snappinq Back Into Reality And Saw That NOTHING LASTS FOREVER . iAlways Thouqht That iCould Get My Way With Alot And Know That They'll Come Runninq When I Need Them . I Was Stuck In This Fairytale Until This ; "Checkmate" . iMet My Match Now . .

O13O1O - O32O1O .
It's Officially DEAD .

Me Dancinq & Havinq Funn :)

Inspire To Learn |

Seems Like My Mind Gets
Influenced By Lust
Instead Of Love
Which Left Me
Clueless About
This World .
Lust Is A Desire
Of Attractions
Towards Anotherr
Without A Sentimental
Feelinq It's Just
A Exotic Desire .
Sex Isn't The Only
Thinq That Can Make
You "LOVE" Someone
Which Can Be Misconstruced
By Many People .
Lustful Thouqhts Takes Over
The Human Mind And Leads To Sin .
Sometimes Love Can
Take Over Your Mind Too .
Handlinq The Feelinqs ,
Especially When You
Fall In Love Can Be
Hard To Control .
Time Is The Only Thinq
You Can Depend On Because
It Knows When The Riqht
Time Is Everytime .

Cheeledd Dayy ;

Upp Out Maa Facee Boy !

UGH ; Yesturday We Cheeledd While @illmaticsavaqe & @AllurinqBossDee Dis Their Hair /
iFed Himm & It Felt Like We Were A Married Couplee [ Awww ]
Heehee ; He Makes Me Giqqle Leik A Leel Girl But I Hidee It Sometimes Which Makes Him " Wonderr" . He Said He's Sprunq Its Obvious Too , So Am I . Im Juss Too Shy To Show It .
He Cudd Be A Buq But iCant Get Enuff Of His xOxo's & Good Lovin ;)

BestFriend Is Here !

hii :) _ Im Savanna Crystal/Savaqeee

iMet a Girl Name Jestine 7/16/06 Ayeee
Well IKnew Jessy Since O6^ & Thats My BESTFRIEND & Only MY BESTFRIEND lmaoo
She My Fries Im Her Burger
Shes My Spongebob Im Her Patrick
She My Carrot And im Her Cabbage
She My Pimp & Im Her Zaddy lmaoo

Uhmmm La 'la 'la Etc . Mind Yours Thats All about us ..
iLovee Youh jessy lOls

_Savanna.Crystal / Savaqeee (:

Iqnorancee l

Sorrow & Pain Fills My Mind
As I Look Out My Window
And View The Beautiful Skies .
It Washes Away , Vanashes
Into mid Air .
The Motion Makes Me
Calm & Natural .
I Just Wish I Could Just Go ,
Just The Oppurtunity
To Touch The Clouds .
That'll Fulfill My Destiny .

- VenusiianJONEL

Kissinq A Froq ;

A Kiss Is Like A Trip To Paradise ,
As he Traced His Sharp Teeth Aqaint My Bottom Lip .
I Cauqht An Waterfall Below The Skies .
His Touch Became A Rutien But The Grip Onto My
Innocent Body Caused It To Shiver .
He Was Below 1 Celcious But Inside My Body Was Above
Farienheit .
Every Grip is A Gasp And Release Is A Tear Drop .
I Never Loved This Way So I Feel Like The nerdy Girl Nobody
Notices Get's Asked To The Prom .
The Feelinq Of Beinq In Your Appearance Is Far From
Lust Because Your Touch Sets My Body To Flames ,
Your Love Allows Me To Drown In Deep Seas , And Your Smile
Sends me Beyond The Skies , Beyond The Galaxy Out Of This World .
I Said I Love You But This Time I Have A Loqical Reason .

- VenusiianJonel

Lust For Life

Confused By The Decisions Made In My Life .
I'm Livinq In Reqrets And Lookinq Forward To Many Dissapointments .
My Expectations Seem Too Hiqh So I Lower My Standards & Settle For Less .
Life Is Full Of Neqativity So It makes It Harder For The Good Thinqs To Happen .
Love And Happiness is All I Ask For But It Seems Like Too Much To Ask For .
Sometimes Its Best To Let It Rock .
Hatred Flows In The Air That I Breathe , It's Poluted With Curuption And Worthless People .
Lifeless Thouqhts Makes It Easier To Breathe Because Livinq In The Dark Is My Lust For Life .

My Happiness .

Who Is He ?
He's The Person That Puts A Smile On My Face Everyday .
It Came To The Point Where I Fell In Love .
He Matches All The Characteristics Of A Boy iAlways Wanted (:
He's Somethinq Special .
Kendrick Dean Loyd ; `13O1O

Slow It Down . .

Surrounded by Darkness .
Stuck In This Safari Waitinq For My Rescue .
iCamee Across An Anqel , What A Beautiful Siqht .
It Was Lust Not Love .
iAsked Him For His Name & No Matter How Hard iTried To Hear ,
Not A Sound Was Clear For My Ears To Hear .
I Strained To Love Him , But It Was An Absurd Feelinq .
- VenusiianJONEL

I Wrote This For Yhuu .

Time Is The Essence ,
The Scent Of Denial .
Waitinq & Iqnorinq The Face That It I Love Yhuu .
I Feel Like The Dove That Forqot How TO Fly .
The Lion That Lost It's Voice .
The Widow That Never Found Love Aain .
That Girl That Is Eaqer For Help , Recoqnition , Love , Care , And That TOUCH .
Just Give Me A Minute .
Yhu Give Me This Feelinq I Never Felt Before , It's Somethinq I Can't Iqnore .
Im Suspended In Tge Air , Floatinq , Flappinq My Winqs .
If Yhuu Take A Step , Look Back , iL Be Atchurr Side Before Yhu Know It .
There's No Hesitations On Love So I'll Know When The Time Is Riqht .
I'm Just Affraid That Yhuu Miqht Fade Away .
My Self Dellusions Are Leavinq Me In The Storm , Sittinq Next To The Dim Street Liqhts .
And As The Peaceful Rain Curresses My Stressful Pain , iBeqin To Release .
My Past Effects My My Future Because I Have Niqhtmares Of Beinq Broken Hearted Aqain .
This Feelinq Was Tradqic .
It Beqins With Me To Get Over But I Need You To Pick My Pieces Up And Help Me To Put Them Toqetherr Becsause I Have Alot On My Hands .
As My Heart Continues To Bleed , You Continue To Appoliqize For His Mistakes .
iCried To You & Told Yhuu That It's My Fault Because I Allowed It .
I Held On Hopinq For The Great Perhaps , But Nothinq .
I'm Dependinq On Yhuu To Love Me The Way iNever Been Loved .
Someday , Somehow (:
- VenusiianJONEL

Girls Juss Wanna Havee Fun (:

Finally Cuffed ; 

Postinq The Poem

 I Wrote Last Niqht .

             COMING SOON 

iDk Wuht iWas Thinkinq ? Lmao . 

Brand New =/

Life Is Nothinq But A Game .
Play Hard & Yhu`ll Still Fail To Suceed .
Cry As Many Tears As Yhuu Want But There'll
Still Be No Chanqe Unless Yhuu Give Up .
Givinq Up Can Be The Solution To Alot Of
Problems Because It Will Gracefully Come To
Yhu Without Yhuu Knowinq .
Theres Alot Of Thinqs In My Life That Wasn't Easy To Face .
Love Isn't The Only But Mostly The Reason Why I Cry .
Broken Hearted Isn't The Best Feelinq But Facinq The Trials Of Gettinq Over It Is .
I Loved Yhuu Til I Hated Yhuu For Leavinq Me BROKEN HEARTED .

Differences

Pair me up with true beauty  and see if you can compare . 

I Stand in the backlight and stare would be so rare . 

My Eyes beqin to tear .

From the b=pain that i feel in my heart .

The feeling of resentment from others and invisibility . 

It seems so unreal but crystal clear that I'm unpretty . 

Im scared of the critisism and or the feedback on what you think of me . 

Thats why I Try to hide my fears .

Feard if becoming lonely and ending up by myself , with nobody to put a smile upon my face . 

My fears turns into worries . 

Unseen & not heard . 

esclusivee !

 Ok . I Have To Admit . I Love Mountain Dew ! (: lMl iM A Cornn .

Venusians .

  (: (: 

Kisses Are A Druq ; ADDICTED !

Venusian ?

Beauty Has Many Definition But Me As A Person Doesn't Fit Into That Cateqory .
UGH ! My Friends Are Complete Barbie When Im Around I Feel Like The Unseen . Lonq Hair , Pretty Smile , Exotic Eyes , Appealinq Features & I'm Just Here Lookinq Aht The Clock . So Tell Me If Im Wronq For This Iqnorance As Mom Wudd Say ?

Closer To My Dreams .

Im Just Here Drawing For My Porfolio For Fashion Industries On Saturday (: Ugh ! Im So Tired . Me And Mommy Was Just Here Talkinq About Life And All Of A Sudden Shees On My Bed Snorinq Away . Even Thouqh We Have Our Days . I Love Her To Death . She Pushes Me To Do Better .

Who Is She ?

Jestine ? She's Puzzled By The Games of Life & Is Still Seekinq The Answers To Why .
She's Curious About Love At A Younq Aqe Which Makes It Harder For Her To Trust Anybody
With Her Heart Even Thouqh She Leaves It In The Open Air .
Ahh ! The Wonds On Her Heart Is Slowly Healinq With The Help Of Somebody She Was Affraid To
Love . She Never Felt The Need To Cater To Anybody She Tends To Makes Her Decusuins Dependinq On
Others Opinions . She Slipped But Never Slid Because The One & Only Above Always Held Her Back Up ,
Like A Fadinq Rose . She's Weakened By Critisism And The Truth .
She's Only Human So Yes She Has Flaws . She Resides On The Corner Or 116th & St. Nicholas With The Help Of Two Dedicated Parents . She Has A Desire For Theatre Arts And Desiqninq Clothes But Requardless Of Her Choice She Wants To Be Successful { - $$ ) . She Goes By The Moto " Love & Happiness " That's All She Asks For .

_ VenusiianJONEL

First . Chapter One .

My Head Is Spinning . Crying .
Wondering If I Should Just Give Up . Worthy .
Give Up Trying . Sacrifice .
Putting Myself Out there . Chances .
Cant Sleep , Im Tossing and Turning Because I Cant Get Rid Of You .
My First Love .